Fake Poo....this usually brings to mind fake poop, you know the kind they sell in toy stores in the joke section. Fake looking dog poop that you use to trick people.
But as a Mom you learn a whole new meaning to "fake poo". The art of pretending to take a big ole poo, just to get a few blissful moments of peace and quite, and actually get off your feet and sit down.
Mommy has to go potty. Famous last words before the infamous "fake poo".
Speaking of "potty" don't you love when you are with a group of grown ups and still use the word potty, cause its fricken cool..mmm hmmm.
Someone else is finally home, you can now escape to the "potty" without having to rush, leave the door open and make things happen as if on hyper speed. Take a seat and aaaahhhhhhhh. Not from..well you know. But from the first few moments of your day alone, where no one is crying, pulling at you, asking you for something. A few moments where you can sit, close your eyes and rreeelllaaaxxxxx. Be warned...there is possible risk of falling asleep but what a glorious few minutes of sleep that is..until your leg goes numb.
Other activities you can accomplish while "fake poo-ing" are reading a article or two in a magazine. Checking out all the things you can't afford in a new catalog that came in the mail. Giving yourself a quick mani. Playing a round or two of words with friends. Updating your FB or Twitter on your phone, imagine if every time someone updated their FB or Twitter while sitting on their throne a little toilet icon pooped up next to the status.
A real pee can always turn into a fake poo. You sit down and it feels amazing, the quite lull of the overhead fan draws you into the serenity of this wonderful space called the "loo" to some folks. Be warned, husbands and kids are much more likely to barge in if they think that all that's going on in there is a #1. Last week Reina barged in on me, Mommy is going Poop Reina!!! But it doesn't even stink momma?? Thats cause mommies always smell good, its daddies that stink Reina. Oh ok momma.
Careful one too many fake poo's and the family will start to think your having some health problems.
So I leave you with happy thoughts, and hopes for many a great fake and real poos in your future. Muahahahahahahahahahaha.
If you're not a fan of poo humor, don't bothering commenting to tell me. I don't give a POO!!!
Arroohhhhaaaaaa
I couldn't agree more! Lol
ReplyDeleteI STILL don't get to be alone for the fake poo: even with the door closed, both children park it there and talk/scream at me through the door if Im gone for more than 5 minutes. They also throw each other against the door, fall in front of the door, flail on the ground in front of the door.... and my personal favorite, fingers underneath the door.
ReplyDeleteAnd they could care less if it smells or not - they will all come in and chat with me regardless of whats going on in there. And the funniest part: once I am finally done, they suddenly have nothing to say to me and go on with their day. JERKS!
Oh and our standard reading material is a charged laptop in every bathroom: I can definitely lose track of time internet browsing zulily or mommy blogs and then realize that I can't feel my feet!
I can't tell you how many Tweet bursts I do from my hiding spot in the bathroom! Welcome to parenthood with more than one child mama!
ReplyDeleteMargaret (@goodbadfamily)